Am I Depressed or Just Tired?

As an integrative therapist, this is one of the most common questions I hear in my therapy room — and honestly, one I’ve asked myself at different points in my own life.

Because modern life is exhausting.
Work pressure, emotional labour, family responsibilities, poor sleep, constant notifications, financial stress — it all adds up. So it makes sense to wonder: am I actually depressed, or am I just really, really tired?

The truth is, the line between the two isn’t always clear.

When Tiredness Starts to Feel Like Something More

Being tired doesn’t just mean needing an early night. Emotional and mental exhaustion can show up in subtle ways, such as:

• Feeling flat or numb rather than sad
• Losing motivation for things you used to enjoy
• Struggling to concentrate or make simple decisions
• Feeling irritable, overwhelmed, or emotionally “thin-skinned”
• Wanting to withdraw from people, even ones you care about

I often work with clients who say, “I don’t feel depressed exactly… I just don’t feel like myself anymore.” That sentence matters.

So… What’s the Difference Between Depression and Burnout?

From an integrative therapy perspective, we don’t rush to label. Instead, we gently explore what’s happening across your mind, body, emotions, relationships, and life circumstances.

Here’s a simple way to think about it:

You might be “just tired” if:

• Rest genuinely helps (even temporarily)
• Your mood improves when stress reduces
• You still feel moments of pleasure or hope
• The exhaustion feels situational (work stress, caregiving, lack of sleep)

Depression may be present if:

• The low mood lasts most days for weeks or months
• Rest doesn’t relieve the heaviness
• You feel hopeless, empty, or disconnected
• Everyday tasks feel unusually hard
• You’re harshly self-critical or feel like a burden

And sometimes — this is important — it’s both. Long-term stress and emotional exhaustion can slowly slide into depression if left unsupported.

Why So Many People Miss the Signs

Especially for women, carers, professionals, and those who are used to “coping”, depression doesn’t always look dramatic. It can look like:

Functioning well on the outside but falling apart inside
Keeping everyone else going while feeling depleted
Saying “I’m fine” while secretly counting down the hours until bed

High-functioning depression is real — and it’s often missed because people don’t feel “bad enough” to ask for help.

A Gentle Check-In You Can Try

Ask yourself these questions, without judgement:

When did I last feel rested — emotionally, not just physically?
Do I feel like life is happening to me rather than with me?
If nothing changed, how would I feel in six months?
What am I carrying that I’ve never really put down?

Your answers don’t diagnose you — but they do offer important clues.

What Actually Helps (From Therapy and Real Life)

From both personal experience and years of working with clients, small shifts matter more than dramatic overhauls:

Name what you’re feeling — confusion, sadness, numbness, resentment
Reduce pressure before adding solutions (not everything needs fixing)
Prioritise nervous system care: sleep, boundaries, slower mornings
Talk it through — with a therapist, not just your inner critic
Stop minimising your experience because others “have it worse”

If you’re asking “Am I depressed or just tired?” — that question alone deserves care and attention.

When to Consider Therapy

You don’t need to be at breaking point. Therapy isn’t only for crisis — it’s for when life feels heavier than it should, and you’re tired of carrying it alone.

An integrative therapist will look at your whole picture, not just symptoms — helping you understand why you feel the way you do and what your system actually needs right now.

Final Thought

You’re not weak for feeling this way.
You’re not lazy.
And you’re not failing at life.

You might just be exhausted — or quietly struggling — in a world that asks too much and pauses too little.

And either way, you deserve support 

Back To List