How to Overcome Social Anxiety in Social Situations

An Integrative Therapist’s Perspective

Understanding Social Anxiety

If you’ve ever walked into a room and felt your heart race, your palms sweat, or your mind spiral with thoughts like “Everyone’s staring at me”—you’re not alone. That’s social anxiety. It’s more than shyness; it’s that heavy fear of being judged or embarrassed in front of others.

From an integrative therapy lens, I see social anxiety as something that touches your mind, body, and relationships all at once. It’s often shaped by past experiences—maybe being criticized, bullied, or feeling out of place. The good news? With gentle steps, you can learn to ease that fear and feel more at home in social situations.

Simple, Practical Things You Can Try

•          Catch the thought spiral

When you notice yourself thinking, “Everyone will see I’m nervous,” pause. Ask yourself: “Is that really true, or am I assuming?” Often, our brains exaggerate. Studies show that reframing these thoughts helps calm anxiety.

•          Plan a little, but don’t over-plan

Heading to a party or meeting? Have one or two easy conversation starters ready—like asking about someone’s weekend. But don’t script the whole thing. Keeping it natural makes it easier.

•          Start small

If speaking up feels impossible, begin with eye contact or a short comment. These tiny steps build confidence over time.

•          Picture calm moments

Think of a time you felt relaxed—laughing with a friend, enjoying dinner with family. Hold onto that image when nerves creep in.

•          Remember, you’re not the only one

Most people are focused on themselves, not on judging you. Psychologists call this the “spotlight effect”—we think everyone’s watching, but they’re really not.

Everyday Examples

•          At work: Instead of giving a long speech, try agreeing with a colleague’s point.

•          At a party: Tell yourself you’ll stay for 30 minutes. Often, once you’re there, it feels easier.

•          On the phone: Practice with a friend before making that professional call.

What Research Tells Us

•          Mindfulness helps. Studies show that paying attention to your breath or body sensations can lower social anxiety by calming the nervous system.

•          Self-compassion matters. Research highlights that being kinder to yourself reduces the intensity of social fears.

•          Exercise makes a difference. Moving your body helps regulate emotions and lowers anxiety levels.

•          Sleep is key. Poor sleep makes social anxiety worse. Stress and rumination often disrupt rest, so prioritizing sleep can help.

Final Thoughts

Here’s the thing: overcoming social anxiety isn’t about never feeling nervous again. It’s about learning to carry those nerves with you and still show up. With small steps, self-compassion, and integrative support, social situations can shift from overwhelming to manageable—and sometimes even enjoyable.

If social anxiety is holding you back, talking to a therapist can give you tailored strategies and support. You don’t have to figure it out alone.

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