Managing Depression and Anxiety as a Black Woman: A Black Integrative Therapist’s Personal Perspective

I write this not only as an integrative therapist, but as a Black woman who has lived with depression and anxiety herself.

For a long time, I didn’t have those words. What I knew was that I was tired in a way sleep didn’t fix. My mind raced at night, replaying conversations, responsibilities, and the quiet pressure to keep going. I was functioning — working, caring, showing up — but inside I often felt overwhelmed, disconnected, and emotionally heavy.

If any of this sounds familiar, I want you to know this first: you are not alone, and you are not imagining it.

How depression and anxiety showed up for me

My depression didn’t look like staying in bed all day. It looked like being high functioning but emotionally drained. Smiling in public and crashing in private. Feeling guilty for needing rest. Carrying everyone else’s needs before my own.

My anxiety lived in my body. Tight shoulders. Shallow breathing. A nervous system that never fully settled. At night, when everything went quiet, my thoughts got louder.

Like many Black women, I learned early that strength meant endurance. You cope. You pray. You push through. You don’t complain.

But pushing through came at a cost.

Why this is so common for Black women

Depression and anxiety in Black women don’t exist in a vacuum. They are shaped by racism and microaggressions, generational expectations to be resilient, caring roles within family and community, and stigma around mental health in Black communities.

As a therapist now, I see what I once lived. Many Black women don’t feel “depressed enough” or “anxious enough” to seek help until their body or mind forces them to stop.

What helped me begin to heal

As an integrative therapist, I don’t believe in one size fits all healing. What helped me wasn’t a single breakthrough, but a series of small, compassionate shifts.

Letting go of the idea that I had to be strong all the time

Strength is not self abandonment.

The moment I allowed myself to say “I’m not okay,” something softened. I stopped seeing support as failure and started seeing it as care.

Ask yourself: who do I feel safest being honest with? Start there, even if that honesty begins on paper.

Listening to my body, not just my thoughts

My anxiety wasn’t just in my mind. It lived in my nervous system.

I began to notice when my body was in survival mode. Clenched jaw. Shallow breath. Constant alertness.

What helped were simple grounding practices. Slow breathing. Gentle movement. Pausing before reacting. These weren’t dramatic fixes, but they taught my body that it was allowed to rest.

Making space for emotions I had been taught to swallow

Many Black women learn to suppress anger, grief, and sadness to stay acceptable or palatable.

My depression eased when I stopped policing my emotions.

Instead of asking “should I feel this way,” try asking “what is this feeling trying to tell me?”

Redefining rest as essential, not optional

Rest was one of the hardest lessons for me.

I had to unlearn the belief that rest was something I earned after exhaustion. I began to see rest as a mental health tool, especially for anxiety.

Try this: schedule rest the way you schedule responsibilities. Even ten minutes of intentional stillness can help regulate an overwhelmed nervous system.

Finding therapy that understood my lived experience

Therapy changed everything for me, but only when I felt culturally understood.

Not having to explain racism, family dynamics, faith, or cultural expectations allowed me to go deeper. That experience shaped how I now work as a Black integrative therapist.

If you’ve ever felt hesitant about therapy because you didn’t want to educate your therapist, that hesitation makes sense.

What I want Black women to know

You do not need to wait until you are burnt out, breaking down, or falling apart to seek support.

Therapy can help with ongoing anxiety and overthinking, low mood and emotional numbness, boundaries without guilt, and healing from racial stress and generational patterns.

Healing does not require you to become someone else. It invites you back to yourself.

A final word

If you are managing depression or anxiety right now, your struggles are valid, even if you have been functioning. Even if others think you are strong. Even if you have been coping quietly.

You deserve support that honours your whole story.

And you do not have to carry this alone.

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