Psychotherapy Blog
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Eating Struggles and the Language of Love
How Food Behaviours Can Symbolise Unmet Needs or Protective Rituals
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Disordered eating and emotional eating are often misunderstood. Beneath the surface of food struggles—whether it's binge eating, food restriction, or disordered eating patterns—there may live a symbolic language of unmet emotional needs, protective rituals, and survival strategies shaped by trauma.
Food as a Messenger, Not a Mistake
In therapy, we view eating behaviours not as failures, but as adaptive responses. These behaviours often emerge in response to emotional neglect, attachment wounds, or chronic stress. They carry meaning—sometimes more than words can express.
• Restrictive eating may symbolize a need for control in a chaotic environment, or a way to shrink emotional overwhelm into something tangible.
• Binge eating disorder can reflect attempts to self-soothe, reclaim pleasure, or fill an emotional void left by unmet childhood needs.
• Avoidance or sensory aversion may be linked to trauma responses, where food becomes a battleground for autonomy and safety.
• Orthorexia or obsession with “clean eating” might echo a yearning for purity, moral worth, or safety in a world that feels contaminated or unpredict... -
When Relationships Hurt and the Past Still Echoes
Therapy for Men Navigating Relationship Struggles and Childhood Trauma
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You might be searching for:
“Help with relationship problems and communication.”
“Therapy for childhood trauma I never talked about.”
These two often go hand in hand.
Many men find themselves stuck in relationship patterns they don’t understand—withdrawal, shutdown, conflict, fear of intimacy. And beneath those patterns, there’s often a history of emotional neglect, father wounds, or trauma that was never named.
Unspoken Childhood Trauma
You don’t need a dramatic story to carry trauma.
Growing up with emotional neglect, criticism, or absence can shape how you relate to others. You might:
• Struggle to express emotions
• Feel unsafe when someone gets too close
• Avoid conflict or shut down during arguments
• Feel like you’re “too much” or “not enough”
Therapy for childhood trauma helps men explore these patterns with compassion—not blame.
Relationship Struggles Aren’t Just About Communication
You might think: “I just need to communicate better.”
But often, the issue isn’t technique—it’s emotional safety. If you’ve never felt safe being vulnerable, communication... -
When Your Mind Won’t Stop and Your Heart Feels Heavy
Therapy for Overthinking, Low Mood, and the Pain That Has No Name
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You’re not alone if you’ve ever typed:
“Can’t stop overthinking everything.”
“Why do I feel sad all the time but nothing is wrong?”
These are some of the most common phrases men use when searching for therapy. They reflect a kind of quiet suffering—where the mind is loud, the body is tired, and the heart feels heavy without a clear reason.
In therapy, we honour these questions as emotional signals, not signs of weakness. They often point to deeper patterns of stress, emotional neglect, or unresolved grief that haven’t yet found words.
The Loop of Overthinking
Overthinking isn’t just a habit—it’s often a nervous system response. When the brain doesn’t feel safe, it tries to solve, scan, and prepare.
You might find yourself:
- Replaying conversations
- Imagining worst-case scenarios
- Struggling to make decisions
- Feeling mentally exhausted but unable to switch off
This mental loop can be a form of emotional hypervigilance—especially common in men who grew up in unpredictable or emotionally unavailable environments. The mind becomes a guard dog, always on alert.
Sadness Without a Story
Feeling low without a clear... -
Attachment Styles: How Early Bonds Shape Adult Relationships
Understanding Attachment Theory in Trauma-Informed Therapy
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Attachment theory is a foundational concept in psychology and trauma-informed therapy. It explains how early childhood experiences with caregivers shape our emotional development, relationship patterns, and nervous system responses. Whether you're exploring attachment styles in therapy or seeking to understand your own relational dynamics, this guide offers symbolic insight and practical reflection.
What Is Attachment Theory?
Attachment theory describes how emotional bonds formed in infancy influence adult relationships. These early interactions teach us whether closeness feels safe, whether our needs will be met, and how we regulate emotions in connection with others. In trauma-informed therapy, we explore these patterns as adaptive responses—not fixed traits.
The Four Main Attachment Styles
Secure Attachment
Developed through consistent, attuned caregiving.
Metaphor: Like a well-rooted tree, securely attached individuals feel safe to explore and return to connection.
Traits: Emotional regulation, trust, comfort with intimacy and independence.
Anxious Attachment
Formed in environments with inconsistent emotional availability.
Metaphor: Like a lighthou... -
Neurodivergent and Navigating
Neurodivergent and Navigating: Therapy for Identity, Burnout, and Belonging
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Understanding Masking, Executive Dysfunction, and Sensory Overload in Young People
More and more young people are entering therapy not just to “cope,” but to understand who they are. For neurodivergent youth—those with ADHD, autism, sensory processing differences, or other cognitive styles—therapy becomes a space to unmask, decompress, and reclaim identity. This isn’t just about diagnosis. It’s about dignity.
What Does Neurodivergent Mean?
Neurodivergent is a term that describes people whose brains process, learn, and respond differently from what’s considered “neurotypical.” This includes ADHD, autism spectrum conditions, dyslexia, dyspraxia, and more. But for many young people, it’s not just a label—it’s a language of self-understanding.
The Pressure to Mask
Masking is the act of hiding or suppressing neurodivergent traits to fit into social norms. It’s often unconscious, and it can be exhausting:
• An autistic teen might force eye contact or mimic social scripts to avoid judgment.
• A young person with ADHD might overcompensate with perfectionism to hide executive dysfunction.
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Healing your inner teenager
Healing Your Inner Teenager: How Your Teenage Years Still Shape You as an Adult
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Keywords: inner teenager, inner child healing, emotional regulation, trauma recovery, mental health, self-esteem, body image, setting boundaries, anxiety in adulthood, healing past wounds
Why Your Teenage Self Still Matters
The teenage years are a crucible of identity, emotion, and belonging. Even if you’ve long since outgrown acne and maths, your inner teenager may still be influencing your adult life—quietly, loudly, or somewhere in between.
Healing your inner teenager is a powerful form of inner child work that focuses on the unique wounds, unmet needs, and emotional patterns formed during adolescence. Unlike early childhood, the teenage years are marked by complex social dynamics, emerging autonomy, and intense emotional experiences. When these moments go unsupported or invalidated, they can leave lasting imprints.
Signs Your Inner Teenager Is Still Running the Show
Overreactive Emotions
Sudden emotional floods, especially around rejection, criticism, or feeling misunderstood, may stem from unresolved teenage wounds.
Outbursts or Shutdowns
Explosive reactions or emotional withdrawal often mirror teenage coping strategie... -
Rewiring your inner voice
Rewiring Your Inner Voice: How Daily Affirmations Help Ease Anxiety, Stress, and Self-Doubt
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Life can feel heavy sometimes. Between anxious thoughts, low self-esteem, and the constant hum of stress, it’s easy to get stuck in a loop of negative self-talk. That’s where daily affirmations come in—not as magic words, but as small, steady reminders that help you feel safer, stronger, and more grounded.
Science backs this up. Neuroscience and psychology both show that affirmations can actually change how your brain works, helping you feel calmer and more confident over time.
What Happens in Your Brain When You Use Affirmations
When you repeat a positive statement—especially one that feels true or hopeful—your brain lights up in areas linked to self-worth and reward. One of these areas, called the ventromedial prefrontal cortex, helps you process who you are and what matters to you.¹
Affirmations also help lower cortisol, the stress hormone that spikes when you’re overwhelmed.² So when you say something kind to yourself, you’re not just being nice—you’re helping your body feel safer.
Why Affirmations Work Emotionally
Psychologists have found that affirmations help interrupt negative thought patterns.³ Inste... -
Life as a Chess Game
Life as a Chess Game: A Gentle Look at Healing and Strategy
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Sometimes life feels like a chess game. Not because we’re trying to win, but because every move matters. Every pause, every shift, every choice—it’s part of a bigger picture. In therapy, this metaphor can help us make sense of emotional patterns, inner conflict, and the way we show up in relationships.
The Board: Your Inner World
Think of the chessboard as your emotional landscape. Some squares feel safe and familiar—like comfort, hope, or confidence. Others feel harder to stand on—like grief, shame, or fear. Therapy helps you notice where you land most often, and what it takes to move gently across the board.
What emotional “square” do you find yourself standing on lately? Is it soft, tense, or somewhere in between?
Pieces: Parts of You
Each chess piece can represent a part of you. The Queen might be your intuition. The Knight could be your protector. The Pawns? Maybe your tender beginnings—the parts that are still learning. In trauma recovery, we get to know these parts, not to judge them, but to understand what they need.
Which part of you feels loud right now? Which part feels quiet or overlooked?
The Clock: Pressure and Pacing
In chess, the... -
Life as a Mario Game
Life as a Mario Game
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A Therapeutic Guide for Teens Navigating Real-World Levels
Keywords: teen mental health, emotional resilience, symbolic healing, trauma-informed care, growth mindset, healing journey, anxiety support, self-reflection for teens
If you’ve ever felt like life drops you into strange worlds with no map, no manual, and a timer ticking down—you’re not alone. Sometimes, it helps to imagine life as a video game. And not just any game: Super Mario. Yep, the one with mushrooms, lava pits, and castles that never seem to hold the thing you’re looking for.
But what if Mario’s journey wasn’t just pixelated chaos? What if it was a metaphor for growing up, healing, and finding your way?
Let’s press start.
Level 1: You Wake Up in a World You Didn’t Choose
Just like Mario drops into a new level without warning, you’re born into circumstances you didn’t design. Family dynamics, school pressures, identity questions—they’re the terrain you learn to navigate. Some platforms are stable. Others crumble when you step on them.
Therapeutic truth: You’re allowed to name what’s hard. You’re allowed to pause before jumping.
Power-Ups Are Real (Even If They Don’t Glow)
In Mario’s world, mushrooms... -
Navigating Loss Through Absence
Grieving the Unheld: Navigating Loss Through Absence, Relationship Breakdown, and Emotional Endings
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Grief is not always loud. Sometimes it arrives as a quiet ache, a hollow space where connection once lived. It doesn’t always follow death—it can bloom in the wake of emotional abandonment, relationship breakdown, or the end of a significant connection.
Understanding Grief from Absence and Emotional Neglect
Absence is a subtle but profound form of loss. It’s the grief of what never was, or what was never sustained. The emotionally unavailable parent. The friend who disappeared without closure. The partner who was physically present but emotionally distant.
This kind of grief is often overlooked in traditional mental health conversations. Yet it’s deeply valid. Therapy recognizes that emotional neglect and relational absence can leave lasting wounds.
Naming this grief is the first step toward healing.
Healing After Relationship Breakdown
When relationships fracture—through betrayal, miscommunication, or unmet needs—the grief is sharp and disorienting. It’s not just the loss of the person, but the loss of emotional safety, shared meaning, and the version of yourself that existed in their presence.
Relational tr... -
Counsellors Corner
How can I begin healing my mother wound, and what steps can I take to address its impact on my life?"
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By exploring your feelings with a counsellor, journaling, and practicing self-compassion, you can start healing and addressing its impact.
It's important to recognise the feelings tied to your mother wound—anger, sadness, or loss. This emotional acknowledgement is the first step in healing.
What emotions have surfaced for you?
Next, reflect on how these feelings influence your life and relationships. Understanding this impact can guide your healing process.
What effect do you think it’s had on you?
As you explore its impact, consider setting boundaries to protect your well-being. Also, think about what forgiveness and letting go mean to you.
Where do you see the need for boundaries or forgiveness in your journey?
Reflecting on your needs and desires is key.
What do you need to feel more complete and at peace?
This introspection can help you define your healing path.
What are you hoping for?
As you clarify your goals, create a plan with your counsellor. This may include setting boundaries, practicing self-care, or engaging in activities that bring joy. Taking action towards healing is a powerful step.
What's one... -
What is the Mother Wound?
The concept of the "mother wound" refers to the emotional pain and patterns inherited from one's mother, often reflecting societal expectations and limitations placed on women.
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This wound can manifest as feelings of inadequacy, shame, or a sense of being unworthy. Its impact on women can be profound, shaping self-esteem, relationship dynamics, and even career choices.
It's like a ripple effect that can influence generations unless consciously addressed and healed.
When women work to heal the mother wound, they often embark on a journey of self-discovery and empowerment. This can involve acknowledging and processing emotions, setting boundaries, and redefining one's own identity separate from maternal influence.
The goal isn't to blame but to understand and transform these patterns, fostering a more authentic and fulfilling life. It's a deeply personal process, but one that can lead to profound growth and resilience.
In moving through this healing space, women often find strength in community, sharing their stories and realizing they're not alone.
This collective experience can foster solidarity and support, encouraging growth and transformation. The journey might lead to redefining personal goals, embracing one's true self,... -
How Global Instability Impacts Our Wellbeing
After recent events in a world that feels more unpredictable than ever, global events, media coverage, and an underlying sense of instability have profound effects on our mental and emotional wellbeing.
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Wars, economic crises, climate disasters, and political upheavals flood our screens daily, making it difficult to escape the weight of global turmoil.
The constant exposure to distressing news can leave individuals feeling anxious, helpless, and even physically unwell.
The Psychological Toll of Global Instability
Humans are wired to respond to threats. When danger looms, our bodies release stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline to help us react. However, in today’s world, the threats we perceive aren’t just immediate or personal, they’re global and relentless. Whether it’s a geopolitical conflict, an economic downturn, or an environmental catastrophe, the fear of an uncertain future triggers a prolonged state of stress.
This ongoing stress can lead to:
Increased anxiety and depression - A steady stream of negative news can create a sense of despair and hopelessness.
Burnout and fatigue - Constantly processing distressing information drains our mental and emotional resources.
Physical health problems - Chroni...