Psychotherapy Blog
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How Therapy Helps Depression
Depression can affect how you think, feel, and function day to day. It may look like persistent sadness, but it can also show up as emotional numbness, low energy, irritability, poor sleep, or a sense of feeling disconnected from yourself and others.
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Therapy for depression offers more than symptom management. From an integrative therapy perspective, it supports you in understanding why you feel the way you do and helps you move towards lasting emotional wellbeing.
Understanding Depression From a Whole-Person Perspective
Integrative therapy views depression as a response to lived experience, not a personal failure. Rather than focusing on one cause, therapy looks at the whole picture — your emotional history, relationships, stress levels, nervous system, and current life pressures.
Depression may be linked to chronic stress, burnout, unresolved grief, relationship difficulties, or early experiences that shaped how you cope and connect. Therapy helps bring these pieces together so your symptoms start to make sense, rather than feeling confusing or overwhelming.
A Safe Space to Talk and Be Understood
One of the most effective ways therapy helps with depression is by offering a safe, confidential space to speak openly. Many pe... -
Attachment Styles in Relationships: Understanding How We Lov
If you’ve ever found yourself thinking “Why do I always react like this in relationships?” or “Why do I keep choosing the same type of partner?” — you’re not alone.
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From an integrative therapy perspective, one helpful way of making sense of relationship patterns is through attachment styles. Attachment theory isn’t about blaming you or labelling you as “good” or “bad” at relationships. It’s about understanding how your nervous system learned to feel safe (or unsafe) with closeness, love, and connection.
Once you understand your attachment style, relationships often start to make a lot more sense.
What Are Attachment Styles?
Attachment styles develop early in life, usually through our first relationships with caregivers. These early experiences shape how we connect with others as adults — especially in romantic relationships.
There are four main attachment styles commonly talked about in therapy:
Secure attachment
Anxious attachment
Avoidant attachment
Fearful-avoidant (sometimes called disorganised) attachment
Most people don’t fit neatly into one box. You might recognise yourself in parts of more than one, and attachment styles can also change over time.
Secure Attachment: Feeling... -
Why Do I Feel Anxious for No Reason? An Integrative Therapist Explains
If you’ve ever caught yourself thinking, “Nothing bad is happening, so why do I feel so anxious?” you’re not alone. This is one of the most common questions people bring into therapy. And the short answer is this: anxiety rarely comes from “nowhere”, even when it feels like it does.
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From an integrative therapy point of view, anxiety is often your mind and body trying to protect you — sometimes a little too well.
Let’s slow this down and make sense of it together.
Why anxiety can show up without an obvious reason
Anxiety doesn’t always arrive with a clear trigger. You might be making a cup of tea, lying in bed, or scrolling on your phone, and suddenly your chest feels tight, your thoughts race, or you just feel on edge.
Here are some common, often overlooked reasons this happens:
Your nervous system is already overloaded<br data-start="1087" data-end="1090">Long-term stress, burnout, or emotional exhaustion can keep your body stuck in high alert mode, even when life feels calm on the surface.
Old experiences still live in the body<br data-start="1271" data-end="1274">Past experiences, especially ones where you felt unsafe, unheard, or overwhelmed, don’t just live in memory. Your body remembers t... -
Am I Depressed or Just Tired?
As an integrative therapist, this is one of the most common questions I hear in my therapy room — and honestly, one I’ve asked myself at different points in my own life.
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Because modern life is exhausting.
Work pressure, emotional labour, family responsibilities, poor sleep, constant notifications, financial stress — it all adds up. So it makes sense to wonder: am I actually depressed, or am I just really, really tired?
The truth is, the line between the two isn’t always clear.
When Tiredness Starts to Feel Like Something More
Being tired doesn’t just mean needing an early night. Emotional and mental exhaustion can show up in subtle ways, such as:
Feeling flat or numb rather than sad
Losing motivation for things you used to enjoy
Struggling to concentrate or make simple decisions
Feeling irritable, overwhelmed, or emotionally “thin-skinned”
Wanting to withdraw from people, even ones you care about
I often work with clients who say, “I don’t feel depressed exactly… I just don’t feel like myself anymore.” That sentence matters.
So… What’s the Difference Between Depression and Burnout?
From an integrative therapy perspective, we don’t rush to label. Instead, we gently explore what’s h... -
Why Do I Keep Attracting Emotionally Unavailable Partners? (For Women)
If you’re a woman who keeps finding herself in relationships that feel one-sided, confusing, or emotionally distant, you might quietly wonder, “Why does this keep happening to me?”
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You may be emotionally aware, caring, and ready for connection — yet you keep attracting partners who can’t fully meet you where you are. This experience is incredibly common among women, and it can slowly chip away at your confidence and emotional wellbeing.
As an integrative therapist, I want you to know this: this pattern isn’t a personal failing. It’s often rooted in learned relationship dynamics, not your worth or value.
What Emotional Unavailability Often Looks Like for Women
Emotionally unavailable partners may not be obvious at first. In fact, they often appear confident, charming, or “low drama.” Over time, patterns begin to show, such as:
Avoiding deeper emotional conversations
Being inconsistent with communication
Pulling away when closeness increases
Keeping things vague about commitment
Making you feel like you’re “asking for too much”
For example, you might find yourself dating someone who enjoys your emotional support but disappears when you express your own needs. Or someone who... -
Work Stress Affecting Your Mental Health?
Work Stress Affecting Your Mental Health?
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If you’re feeling constantly drained, irritable, or like work is taking up far too much space in your head, you’re not alone. As an integrative therapist, and from my own past experience, I know how quietly work stress can creep in and start affecting your mental health before you even realise what’s happening.
For me, it didn’t look dramatic at first. I was still getting up, still going to work, still “functioning”. But inside, I was tense all the time. My sleep was broken, my patience was shorter, and I carried a low-level anxiety that never really switched off. Looking back, the signs were there long before I acknowledged that work stress was impacting my wellbeing.
How work stress shows up in everyday life
Work-related stress doesn’t always look like burnout straight away. Often, it’s more subtle.
You might notice:
Constantly thinking about work, even in the evenings or on days off
Small tasks feeling overwhelming or exhausting
Increased irritability or withdrawing from others
Changes in sleep, appetite, or motivation
Anxiety before workdays, meetings, or checking emails
I remember lying in bed replaying conversations from the day, wor... -
Why Am I Always Exhausted Emotionally?
An integrative therapist’s personal experience
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If you often find yourself asking, “Why am I always emotionally exhausted?” you are not weak, broken, or failing. You are human — and you are not alone.
As an integrative therapist, and through my own lived experience, emotional exhaustion is something I understand deeply. I didn’t first recognise it in theory or training. I recognised it in my own body, quietly signalling that something wasn’t sustainable.
For me, emotional exhaustion didn’t look dramatic. It looked like functioning on the outside while feeling permanently drained inside. It showed up as constant overthinking, emotional fatigue, irritability, low motivation, and a kind of tiredness that sleep never fully fixed.
If this resonates, it’s worth exploring what emotional exhaustion really is — and how it can be managed.
What is emotional exhaustion?
Emotional exhaustion is a state of mental and emotional fatigue caused by prolonged stress. It is commonly linked to burnout, anxiety, depression, trauma, and chronic overwhelm.
Common signs of emotional exhaustion include:
Feeling tired all the time, even after rest
Emotional numbness or frequent tearfulness
Brain fog and difficulty co... -
New Year. New Mindset: Mental Health Goals for the Year Ahead
From an integrative therapist’s perspective
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The new year often arrives with a lot of noise. New goals, new routines, new pressure to “get it right.” Many people I work with come into January already feeling behind, exhausted, or quietly anxious about what they should be doing differently.
From an integrative therapy viewpoint, mental health goals aren’t about forcing change or fixing yourself. They’re about understanding what you need, supporting your emotional health, and creating small, realistic shifts that improve your overall wellbeing. A new mindset doesn’t mean becoming a new person. It means meeting yourself where you are, with honesty and compassion.
Below are gentle, practical mental health goals you can carry into the year ahead, without adding more stress to your life.
Focus on progress, not perfection
One of the biggest reasons New Year goals fall apart is perfectionism. When we expect instant change, we often give up altogether.
For example, you may plan to prioritise self-care, miss a few days, and decide you’ve “failed.”
Try this instead:
Set goals that are flexible and forgiving
Aim for progress, not perfection
Notice small wins, such as choosing rest or saying no once... -
Managing Depression and Anxiety as a Black Woman: A Black Integrative Therapist’s Personal Perspective
I write this not only as an integrative therapist, but as a Black woman who has lived with depression and anxiety herself.
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For a long time, I didn’t have those words. What I knew was that I was tired in a way sleep didn’t fix. My mind raced at night, replaying conversations, responsibilities, and the quiet pressure to keep going. I was functioning — working, caring, showing up — but inside I often felt overwhelmed, disconnected, and emotionally heavy.
If any of this sounds familiar, I want you to know this first: you are not alone, and you are not imagining it.
How depression and anxiety showed up for me
My depression didn’t look like staying in bed all day. It looked like being high functioning but emotionally drained. Smiling in public and crashing in private. Feeling guilty for needing rest. Carrying everyone else’s needs before my own.
My anxiety lived in my body. Tight shoulders. Shallow breathing. A nervous system that never fully settled. At night, when everything went quiet, my thoughts got louder.
Like many Black women, I learned early that strength meant endurance. You cope. You pray. You push through. You don’t complain.
But pushing through came at a cost.
Why this is so common for Black women
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Why You Don’t Need a Big Problem to See a Therapist
If you’ve ever thought “My problems aren’t big enough for therapy”, you’re absolutely not alone. Honestly, this is one of the most common things people tell me as an integrative therapist. There’s this myth that you need to hit rock bottom, have a diagnosis, or be going through a major mental health crisis before you’re “allowed” to reach out for support.
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But here’s the truth: therapy isn’t just damage control. It’s self-care, self-awareness, and personal growth rolled into one. You’re allowed to explore your life, your mind, and your feelings without waiting for everything to fall apart.
Therapy is for everyday humans (aka all of us)
Life is full of quiet little stressors—work pressure, relationship tension, the buzzing anxiety that shows up at 3am for absolutely no reason. You don’t need a “big issue” to get curious about your mental health or to want to feel more grounded.
Many people come to therapy simply because they want to:
Develop healthier coping skills
Improve communication and confidence
Understand their emotions better
Build healthier relationships
Work on general mental wellbeing
That’s valid. And more importantly, it’s enough.
Small things grow w... -
What Your Teen Can Expect In Therapy
From an integrative therapist’s perspective
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When your teenager starts therapy, it can feel like stepping into the unknown — for them and for you. As an integrative therapist, I’ve seen how much smoother the journey becomes when young people know what to expect.
This blog breaks down what teen therapy really looks like, what happens in the room, and how you can support them along the way.
A Safe, Private Space to Talk
Teens often walk into therapy feeling nervous or worried they’ll be judged. Therapy begins with building trust. Sessions are a confidential space, meaning I won’t share what they say unless they’re at risk of harm. That reassurance usually helps them relax and open up at their own pace.
Actionable advice for parents:
Let your teen know the first session is mostly a gentle, relaxed conversation.
Remind them there’s no pressure to share more than they feel ready for.
Emphasise that therapy is their space — not something they need to “perform.”
A Mix of Approaches That Fit Them
Integrative therapy blends different therapeutic methods depending on your teen’s personality, needs, and pace. Some teens enjoy talking; others prefer creative tools, grounding techniques, journaling, or expl... -
Impacts of Bullying & Peer Pressure, Especially Among Young Adolescents
by an Integrative Therapist and Parent
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When I think about bullying and peer pressure, I don’t just think about research or therapy rooms — I think about real moments with my own child and with the teens I support every week. Young adolescents are in this tricky in-between stage where friendships feel like everything, belonging feels essential, and the stakes — emotionally — feel sky-high.
The truth is, bullying and peer pressure land hard at this age. But with the right support, young people can build emotional resilience, confidence, and healthier boundaries than they might realise they’re capable of.
This is a conversation for both teens and the grown-ups who love them. So grab a cuppa, take a breath, and let’s walk through this together.
What Bullying Really Feels Like (From a Therapist’s Chair & a Parent’s Heart)
Bullying isn’t “just teasing.” It can chip away at a young person’s self-esteem, trigger social anxiety, and make school — or even group chats — feel unsafe. Teens often tell me they feel:
“On edge all the time”
“Like everyone’s watching”
“Scared to speak up”
“Fake around friends”
“Tired… like really tired”
As a parent, I’ve seen that look in my ow... -
Why Substance Misuse and Mental Illness Are So Closely Linked
1. Substances often become a coping tool
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When someone feels overwhelmed by anxiety, depression, trauma, stress, or low self-esteem, reaching for something that offers quick relief can feel incredibly tempting. Alcohol, drugs, or misused prescription medication can temporarily numb emotions — but the relief is short-lived.
Before long, the person finds they’re using more often, just to feel “normal”.
This is how many people slip into addictive behaviours without ever intending to.
2. Substances can trigger or worsen mental illness
It’s not always that mental illness comes first. Sometimes the substance use itself leads to symptoms like paranoia, panic attacks, mood swings, or feelings of hopelessness.
For example:
Regular cannabis misuse can worsen anxiety in some people.
Cocaine or stimulants can seriously disrupt sleep and mood.
Alcohol, being a depressant, often deepens existing low mood.
This is why the term dual diagnosis — meaning both addiction and mental illness happening at the same time — is becoming more widely recognised in mental health services.
3. Trauma sits quietly underneath — a lot
A huge number of people who struggle with substance misuse have a history of trauma: childhood emotio... -
5 Signs You Might Benefit from Therapy: Integrative Therapist's Perspective
As an integrative therapist, one of the most common things people say when they first reach out is: “I’m not sure if my problems are big enough for therapy.”
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If that sounds familiar, you’re not alone.
Therapy isn’t just for moments of crisis. It can also be a space for growth, reflection, healing, and understanding yourself more deeply. Whether you're navigating stress, feeling emotionally stuck, or simply wanting more clarity in life, seeking help is a sign of strength, not failure.
Below are five signs you might benefit from therapy, along with practical, compassionate tips you can start using today.
YOU FEEL OVERWHELMED MORE OFTEN THAN NOT
Life can become too much sometimes. Feeling constantly on edge, exhausted, or unable to cope may signal that your nervous system is stretched beyond its limit.
How therapy can help:
• Understanding the root of your overwhelm
• Developing tools to reduce stress
• Building emotional resilience
Try this today:
Pause for 30 seconds. Place a hand on your chest or stomach and notice your breath without forcing it.
Then ask yourself: “What’s one thing I can take off my plate today?”
YOU FEEL STUCK IN UNHELPFUL PATTERNS
You may find yourself repeating the same re... -
What You Can Expect in Your First Session for Anxiety
Beginning therapy for anxiety can feel like a brave but uncertain step. You may arrive with nerves, curiosity, or even a little hesitation about what to say. That’s all part of the process.
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As an integrative therapist, I want you to know that your first session isn’t about having everything figured out—it’s about creating a safe, supportive space where we can begin to explore your experience together.
What Happens in Your First Therapy Session
Your first session is about connection, not perfection. My role is to listen, to understand, and to help you feel grounded. Here’s what usually happens:
• Introductions and building trust: We’ll start by talking about how therapy works and what you can expect.
• Exploring your story: I’ll invite you to share what brings you here—whether it’s racing thoughts, physical tension, or a sense of being overwhelmed.
• Setting intentions together: We’ll think about what you’d like to move toward. That might be finding calm in daily life, easing anxious spirals, or simply having a space to breathe and reflect.
Actionable Tips to Prepare
It’s natural to feel anxious before therapy. A little preparation can help you... -
How to Overcome Social Anxiety in Social Situations
An Integrative Therapist’s Perspective
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Understanding Social Anxiety
If you’ve ever walked into a room and felt your heart race, your palms sweat, or your mind spiral with thoughts like “Everyone’s staring at me”—you’re not alone. That’s social anxiety. It’s more than shyness; it’s that heavy fear of being judged or embarrassed in front of others.
From an integrative therapy lens, I see social anxiety as something that touches your mind, body, and relationships all at once. It’s often shaped by past experiences—maybe being criticized, bullied, or feeling out of place. The good news? With gentle steps, you can learn to ease that fear and feel more at home in social situations.
Simple, Practical Things You Can Try
• Catch the thought spiral
When you notice yourself thinking, “Everyone will see I’m nervous,” pause. Ask yourself: “Is that really true, or am I assuming?” Often, our brains exaggerate. Studies show that reframing these thoughts helps calm anxiety.
• Plan a little, but don’t over-plan
Heading to a party or meeting? Have one or two easy conversation starters ready—like asking about someone’s weekend. But don’t script the whole thing. Kee...